So, the bad news is

So, the bad news is this weekend I went to get my hair colored (yes, I dye my hair) and decided to get highlights. I don't know what happened, but somehow I ended up with huge orange streaks all through my hair. It looked quite crazy and cost a small fortune to have done. I ended up going to a drug store and buying a $10 bottle of hair dye to fix it, so now the color is better, but my hair is a frizzy mess from dying it three times in one day.

The good news is I bought a car today! I'm sure most people would not get very excited over this, but since I haven't had one in 5 years, I'm pretty stoked. The best thing is I got exactly what I wanted for a great price. I pick it up tomorrow! Yahoo!

I headed out last night

I headed out last night to celebrate Aimee's birthday for the 3rd time, but hey, it's a good reason to eat cake. We went to The Beauty Shop for Dinner. Since I have been to The Beauty Bar on both coasts, this place didn't seem as original to me as it did to the other people I dined with, but, all in all, it was a pretty good meal. It was good to hang out Chris and Micha. They are the cutest couple and Chris and I can talk about music all night and not get bored. His band is playing next week at the Deli, so I am definitely going to try and check them out.

After dinner we went to Cielo for drinks. I have to admit, I did not know about this place and it was really cool. It reminded me of Madame X's in NYC. We listened to the piano player, drank cocktails and mused about when we were 14. Ah, nostalgia. What a bitch.

So, I had this terrible

So, I had this terrible dream last night about my ex-boyfriend, Jason. We were at a bar and he was with a couple of his friends. I was trying to talk to him and all of a sudden he turned invisible. But he was smoking a pipe and I could still see his outline in the smoke when the light hit it just right. I kept following him around the bar trying to speak to him but he wouldn't talk to me and just kept walking away. Finally, I decided to go back to my table and pay my tab. My waitress was bitching and complaining about me for some reason, so I said something sarcastic to her and paid all but $1.98 of my bill. I then went and sat at a table directly across from my ex and just sat there feeling defeated. There was a different guy that sat down at my table, I can't remember now who he was, but I knew him. He offered to pay the rest of my tab, and I let him. I was still watching the outlines of my ex in the smoke until he got up and walked out the door. This made me so upset that I woke up.

What does this mean?

Just what I've always

Just what I've always wanted! Be sure to check out his new and improved site here.

Bills are coming due for

Bills are coming due for Jackson's extravagant lifestyle
By Charlie Leduff; Laura M. Holson
The New York Times

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
MICHAEL JACKSON MUG SHOT

MICHAEL JACKSON

LOS ANGELES - When he surrendered to the Santa Barbara, Calif., sheriff last week, Michael Jackson resembled an aging Joan Crawford, pale, frail and weighing 120 pounds.

Read the rest of the Story here.

I watched this tonight

I watched this tonight for the first time while I was taking a bath. It really made me want to find someone to give me a good spanking. Or maybe I just want James Spader to spank me. Maybe it wouldn't be as hot if it was someone else. Or, maybe it would. You know who it would be really hot to be spanked by? That's right...Ryan Adams. Anyone know his number?

So, this is what

So, this is what MJ would supposedly look like if he had stayed sane. Not too bad, certainly better than the freak he is now. Of course, without all the surgery he might have only been the next Al Jareau.

So I made this.

So I made this.

Find the original essay from

Find the original essay from Time Magazine, which has been curiously deleted from their archives, here.

Which Sylvia Plath Poem Am

Which Sylvia Plath Poem Am I?

Mirror
I am silver and exact. I have no preconceptions.
What ever you see I swallow immediately
Just as it is, unmisted by love or dislike .
I am not cruel, only truthful---
The eye of a little god, four-cornered.
Most of the time I meditate on the opposite wall.
It is pink, with speckles. I have looked at it so long
I think it is a part of my heart. But it flickers.
Faces and darkness separate us over and over.
Now I am a lake. A woman bends over me,
Searching my reaches for what she really is.
Then she turns to those liars, the candles or the moon.
I see her back, and reflect it faithfully.
She rewards me with tears and an agitation of hands.
I am important to her. She comes and goes.
Each morning it is her face that replaces the darkness.
In me she has drowned a young girl, and in me an old woman
Rises toward her day after day, like a terrible fish.

-- Sylvia Plath

I went to Aimee's suprise

I went to Aimee's suprise birthday party last night. Every time I walked by this one guy, he would say "One Fat Hen." I guess he witnessed the mayhem that ensued the last time I played that game. I just hope the nickname doesn't catch on. That would suck.

Which Recurring Kevin Smith Character

Which Recurring Kevin Smith Character Are You? Take the test here

So, right after I broke

So, right after I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 5 years, I made a bad decision. I met this guy, Liam McEneaney at a party and he seemed really cool. He was not my type at all, but I figured, hey, I hadn't been too successful with "my type," so why not set the bar a little lower? He stared at me all night, so I knew he was interested and I suggested that we meet for a drink. I won't even go into all of the weirdness of our little meeting in the cheapest bar in the east village, which I suggested after he told me he didn't have more than 10 bucks to his name. He is a comedian and is actually really funny, which for me, made up for all of his other obvious flaws. Even though I had decided early on that I would never be able to date him, I still thought he would be fun to hang out with. But it wasn't to be, as after our one outing he proceeded to not return my calls or emails. I guess he thought we were still in junior high. He even deleted me as a Friendster! Anyway, I continued to read the guys blog, cause as I said, he really is funny. Funny and Lonely. Now I see he has taken the time to make fun of me in his blog. He didn't mention my name, but it still hurt my feelings. You can go berate him here. And no, you don't want to kiss him either.

Patrik and I caught up

Patrik and I caught up with old friends last night at Melange. I can still hardly believe my really old friend David Nestler owns the place. Boy, do I have some stories I could tell about that guy. He asked another girl and me if we wanted to have a three way; I think he was just kidding. But, with that David Nestler, you just never know. Patrik and I also discussed how, for some odd reason, we can't just call him David. It has to be David Nestler. Weird. Anyway, I got to see some folks I haven't seen in 8 or 9 years and met a few new interesting people too. Not too bad for a Friday night in Memphis.

The European Union has just

The European Union has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the one other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government has conceded that English spelling does actually have some small, but significant, room for improvement and has thus accepted a 5-year phase-in-plan of these improvements that will eventually become known as "Euro English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one letter less.

In the sekond year, there will be growing publik enthusiasm when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20 persent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" > with "z", and "w" with "v".

During the fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a United Urop vil finali kum tru.

Zen ve vil rul ze vorld!!!!

Here is a good place

Here is a good place to get REVENGE.

"The Doug" and I

"The Doug" and I went to see the Grizz play the Pistons last night. We had really good seats that I scored from work. The game was a lot of fun, but what was even more fun was trying to make the stone-face cop crack a smile while he was guarding the "paint." During every time-out, these cops would come out onto the floor and stand there and guard the court like a terrorist might attack at any moment. They were way too serious about it. Anyway, the guy never cracked. But it was fun dancing around, making faces, screaming at him, trying to make him laugh. Now I just hope he never pulls me over.

BTW, here's a nice shot of J Dub for you ;)

You have a dominant kiss-

You have a dominant kiss- you take charge and make sure your partner can feel it! Done artfully,
it can be very satisfactory if he is into you playing the dominant role - MEORW!


What kind of kiss are you?
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Those inbreds known as

Those inbreds known as Creed are planning to make a new album, according to Billboard. If that weren't depressing enough, the mongoloids in the band are said to be -- get this -- working on solo albums.

If there really is a God, can't He please stop them?

Yahoo still hasn't fixed my

Yahoo still hasn't fixed my damn email account. The weird thing is, I can still see what's going on in it via my phone. However, the crap I have to go through to read and delete emails via GPS is more trouble than it's worth, so now my inbox sits with over 200 unopened emails. Mostly SPAM I'm sure, but either way it is working my nerves. If only Yahoo had a phone number I could call so that I could take my frustrations out on someone. Instead, I seem to get some bullshit auto-generated email everyday with a different question so that they can determine if I am really who I say I am. Tomorrow I plan on mailing them a pubic hair sample.

This is Boo. He's

This is Boo. He's a miniature American Eskimo and he is still in NYC. I can't bring him to Memphis until I obtain a residence with a backyard. Isn't he the cutest ever? You should see his brother Barkley. Anyway, I miss my babies, I love them like my children, but not like this.

Go here.

Go here.

I had the pleasure of

I had the pleasure of traveling to Tunica, MS last night to go to the Sam's Town Casino to enjoy a show by the one and only Chris Rock. If you have the opportunity to see a performance by Mr. Rock, I would highly recommend that you do not miss it, he is fucking hilarious. "The Doug" and I really enjoyed the show even though I got the tickets at the last minute and we could not sit together. It's really amazing the diverse crowd this guy attracts. I ended up sitting next to four 80 year-old-ladies, one even had a walker, and they ate up everything he said and bobbed their heads to the rap music playing as we exited the theater. And this was in Mississippi! Just a friendly reminder to refrain from stereotyping peeps.

Let Them Sing It For

Let Them Sing It For You

There's this guy that I've

There's this guy that I've been spending a lot of time with recently and I think at this point he has ruined me for all others. He says things that I know a lot of people think are total crap, but they make me melt. He is so hot, he's been in my life for a while now, but he seems to slide in and out. Everytime I realize I am becoming too obsessive about him, I just have to make myself stay away from him for awhile. I mean, I fully realize that it will never happen for us, but I still think about what it would be like if we did get together. The funny thing is, 10 years ago, if someone had told me that I would be so into this guy, i would have laughed in their face. I just never pictured him being my type, but now I am smitten and I can't seem to get over it. I know he's seeing some girl, and since I know that I don't have a chance in hell, I hope it works out for them. Anyway, the guy is Ryan Adams and he just had two awesome albums come out, if anyone has a connection and can hook me, you know where to find me.

Final Score: 170.5 [Listening to:

Final Score: 170.5

Find out what they are

Find out what they are here.

Are Your Gonna be My

Are Your Gonna be My Girl?

Someone broke into my email

Someone broke into my email account and changed the password and now I can't get into it. Yahoo does not have a telephone number to call, so I emailed them earlier today and still haven't gotten a response. Whoever did it also broke into my ebay account, which is really weird since they are two different passwords. They tried to sale a laptop for $1700. However, I am super sly and I managed to crack myself back into my ebay account, even though they had changed the password. It really sucks to not be able to check your email. You can still send me email via the link on this page, it is directed to a different account.

On a different note, it's really weird to be living about 2 miles form where I grew up. Everything looks completely different and I still don't know my way around. When I was a kid, I lived in a regular neighborhood with lots of houses, but it was kind of in the middle of nowhere, now the entire area is built up with tons of stuff everywhere. I can't decide which way is better.

And in better news, the broadband guy is coming tomorrow to set my desktop up online, so I will finally be posting from my own pc again. Expect much better posts over the weekend. Sweet!

I went to Daniel's tonight

I went to Daniel's tonight after work and he made me a wonderful three course meal. He even made dessert, but I couldn't bring myself to suck it down. We watched Identity, which was, "meh." (Simpson's reference, bonus points if you know which episode) Anyway, when I was driving home, that new Sheryl Crow song came on, The First Cut is the Deepest. I don't even like Sheryl Crow, but for the first time since I have been back in Memphis I felt sad. I started thinking that for the first time in 10 years I am really alone. I mean, I have great friends and family, but I have two failed relationships, back to back. I'm used to coming home and there being someone there. I guess it will just take some getting used to.

The Doug and I went

The Doug and I went to the Fox & Hound tonight to watch the Grizzlies wallup the Lakers. It was quite a pleasant suprise. Doug was in sports heaven, as we were able to watch the Grizzlies, Packers and wrestling all at once. It was fun. He let me down though when a Christina Aguilera video came on and he proclaimed, "I'll take some of that."

What's your sexual appeal?

What's your sexual appeal?
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Shakespearean Insulter

Shakespearean Insulter

I went to a party

I went to a party last night with my friend Chris at my brother's house. We sat outside most of the night and played a drinking game with vodka tonics as the drink. It's a fun game if you are a competitive freak, like me. Here's how you play. One person says a phrase and you repeat it back to them. Then they repeat the first phrase and add another. Then you try to repeat the two phrases and so on and so forth until you are able to repeat all 10 phrases in a row. Here are the phrases:

One fat hen
Couple duck
three brown bear
Four running hare
Five fat fickle females sitting sipping scotch
Six simple simons sitting on a stump
Seven sinbad sailors sailing the seven seas on a sloop
Eight egotistical egoists echoing echoing egotistical ecstacy
Nine nude nubians nibbling nibbling nuts, nads, and nails
Ten - I've never been a figpicker or a figpickers son, but a figpicking I'll do until the figpicking's done.
Are you a turtle? Damn straight I'm a turtle!

So, obviously every time you mess up you have to drink and start over. Warning: This game can cause serious drunkeness and embaressing side effects like calling your ex-boyfriend by mistake at 1:00 AM, leaving rambling messages on your parents answering machine, getting jealous when your friend hits on another girl, waking up in a bed that's not your own and missing family obligations like a cousin's baby shower that your whole family is at the next day. Well, that's what I heard anyway.

Go here to see the

Go here to see the other winners. Go here to meet the man behind the madness. Hi Boz!

I got to go have

I got to go have drinks with a very old friend last night. Not that he's old ;) but we haven't seen each other in about 8 years. We went to Melange and ran into some other old friends, it was great. It was fun to talk about old times and old friends and to catch up on what happened to everyone. Patrik is such an awesome guy, I am so glad I found him again. He exudes positive vibes and is so creative it is mind-boggling. He gives me the warm and fuzzies inside. And I never would have found him if it wasn't for the internet. Hooray the WWW.

Last night, I went

Last night, I went to dinner with my family to celebrate my parents wedding anniversary. We went to a new place downtown in Peabody Place called Texas de Brazil. It was really great, but I wouldn't recommend it if you're vegetarian. The concept is something I've never come across before. Here's how it works. Dinner is one price, you start off with salad and appretizers from a buffet in the middle of the restaurant. Then, when you are ready for your main course, you have these little circles on your table, one side is red and one side is green. When you turn the circle over to the green side, it basically means "Bring on the meat!" There are waiters cruising the dining area with these huge skewers of filet, chicken breast, pork tenderloin, ribs, parmesian chicken, parmesian pork, sirloin, and brazilian sausage. They come up and just cut meat off onto your plate. It's a meat eating bonanza. When you don't want anymore, you turn your circle to red and they leave you alone for a while. It was delicious, but not cheap. My meal with one glass of wine and tip was $60. And I don't think I would want to go there on a date. It's too easy to over eat and feel disgusting. But overall, it was a cool place, and anytime someone else is paying, I would love to go back.

My brother just got

My brother just got his pictures back from his wedding and they look great. Just look at that cute kid! I have to give props to Clay since he hooked me up with an interview at the NBC affiliate in Memphis and I start my new job at the assignment desk for the 5 o'clock news tomorrow. I guess when things just keep falling into place, you have to believe that something was meant to be. Booyah!

So, Daniel and I cruised

So, Daniel and I cruised downtown today to check out all the Renovations that have been done since I left Memphis 5 years ago. We drove down main street and saw all the galleries and cool little shops that have opened. Then we headed over to Peabody Place behind the Peabody Hotel. I came down here when it first opened a couple of years ago, but not every things was open then.
We stopped in Jillian's and had a drink and checked out the bar at High Life, the bowling lanes downstairs. It was pretty cool, I haven't bowled in quite a few years because Bowlmor Lanes in NYC was always crowded and way overpriced. Anyway, it was a cool place that inspired me to go Cosmic Bowling at Billy Hardwick's, which is where all the serious bowlers go. I got to hang out with Doug and Chris and play "whoever wins is a redneck, whoever loses buys the beer."

You're Gangsta Bitch Barbie. You're

You're Gangsta Bitch Barbie. You're tough and you
like it rough, and of course you like to pop a
cap in any wiggers ass.


If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
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I got awesome news last

I got awesome news last night! My friend Doug, who used to date my best friend and lived with us about 9 years ago just moved back to Memphis also. He got transferred by his job. I haven't seen him in three years and even when we lived in the same city, we couldn't hang out as much as I would have liked to because he was dating my best friend and it's always awkward when you see your boyfriend having more fun with another girl than with you. We are already making plans to take over the city.

So, my main goal with

So, my main goal with my move to Memphis is to keep a positive outlook. I've been known to be a little cynical and jaded, and I figure, what better time to change my attitude then with my move back. So, I have been trying everyday to find something to appreciate about being back here. Yesterday I went shopping with my mother. You know what I appreciate about that? Things are really cheap here! Target has really cool stuff! The grocery stores have anything you could imagine and are all really clean! I was able to go to about 5 stores in 5 different parts of town in less than three hours. I had forgotten how much easier it is to do things here, and I appreciate that!

Click At Your Own Risk

Click At Your Own Risk

My first night back in

My first night back in Memphis turned out to be a pretty eventful one. I went to my grandparents house for my Grandfather's birthday party and got to see my entire family and eat my Grandmother's awesome cooking. Then I went to my brother's house and watched The Memphis Grizzlies beat the The Houston Rockets in B-Ball. That was a lot of fun, then Daniel and I met some friends out for a drink. He and Eric decided this was a good night to introduce me to the JagerBomb. Let the good times roll...

From what I have heard so far, there seem to be a lot of cool things to do in Memphis these days. When I moved away 5 years ago, the city had just started to renovate the downtown area. Daniel is going to give the grand tour this week and I am looking forward to seeing the changes. Memphis seems to have come a long way since I left. Things are looking up.

So, my final night

So, my final night in New York was a total blast, all due to going out with some really great friends. We started out in the village at the Halloween Parade, which was crazy crowded, like being in Times Square for New Year's Eve, except everyone is wearing a costume. Shultzie was Punky Brewster and looked adorable. She is an an original with style to spare. I know great things will happen for her in Washington and I know she will be a success!

Yar Matey! Laura dressed like a pirate and we spent most of the night looking for Jack Sparrow with no luck. After the Halloween Parade it took us an hour to walk up 6th Ave to 14th so that we could catch the subway to the Upper West Side to go to a party at 420 Bar. Several parents asked us to pose with their children, we should have started charging. Laura's always a blast to hang out with, and she always gets a lot of male attention, so she's great to have around when you're looking for some action!

Julie was dressed as a sexy cop, which I think was a tribute to the NYPD Officer that we once met in Chelsea that had a mohawk and arms full of tats. He was so hot that we asked him when his shift ended and hatched a plan to stalk him, of course when 4 AM rolled around we were over it. We still talk about that cop often, the hot one that got away. I actually don't think Julie's given up on meeting him either, so if you know who I am talking about (and how many police officers with mohawks can there be in NYC anyway?) then please drop me a line so I can make a girl's dream come true!

Melody wore my costume from last year, Snow White, and I was the Evil Queen. People in NY don't seem to be to hip to Disney Characters because all night people called me a Wicked Witch, the Queen of Hearts, Dracula's sister, one guy even thought I was a Nun. Melody and I entered the costume contest at the party we went to. We lost to Psycho Clown, even after we made out in front of the crowd in order to procure votes. It was a real disappoinment! Not that I regret making out with her. Melody is beautiful and smart, and has thin thighs, she would be easy to hate if she didn't have such an awesome personality. Some girls have all the luck, and I am lucky to be friends with her!

This picture was taken right before Julie fell down the stairs and fractured her wrist. It was an open bar, what do you expect! Her handcuffs broke and I ended up with them in my purse. The next night when I went out to a bar with some friends, I got carded by the waiter. I couldn't find my ID and I ended up emptying the contents of my bag onto the table and then getting crazy stares when they saw the handcuffs. But I played it off.

I will miss you guys! Thanks for making my last night in the city one that I will never forget! You Rock!