Don't Push Me Cause I'm Close To The Edge

Say hello to the worst 5 days of my life. Yeah, February in New York sucks. Snowstorms, people getting kicked out of bars, disappearing acts, unanswered phone calls, packing, extracting your life from someone else's, it just doesn't get any better. And the rumors are true, I kicked Bayne out of my hotel room and left in him in NYC. I think you can find him on the LES up Vincent Gallo's ass. Sean Lennon took a picture. See, here's the deal, if you wanna be an asshole, do it when you're paying your own way, you fucking student. I am not an option.

Happy Birthday Jen.

On The Road Again

Did you read my interview with Ben Lee yet? Well, what are you waiting for?

Since everyone wants to know (snark) here's the plan for the week:

Wednesday: Kings of Leon @ Webster Hall
Thursday: Tori Amos speaks about her new book @ The 92nd Y, Ben Lee CD Release Party @ Tonic
Friday: Animal Collective @ Bowery Ballroom

Then two days of driving cross country!! If only my camera worked! See you at Dish next Sunday night for my triumphant return. I'm sure everyone will be hella hungover form Sims and Mar Kelly's party, but save some energy for helping me unload my stuff, cause you know who's getting called. Someone else will have to pony up and buy the drinks, cause I'm gonna be broke, yo!

Ryan Adams Is Now Mechrobioticon

"This next song is...um...it's a political song...it's about the politics of...um...whether or not dolphins really, in fact, speak to each other..." - RA

Listen to a conversation between Ryan, Luke Lewis (Lost Highway Chairman) and Andy Nelson (Lost highway Marketing VP) and learn why he is my favorite person ever.

HERE.

http://www.mechrobioticon.com/

Start Spreading the News

Saturday night was the return of Saturna at Dish. Mr. White also did us the honors of spinning a few choice tunes. The early crowd was a little stiff, but after the gay mafia left we took over the bed and made ourselves comfy. Early in the evening before many peeps showed up I was standing at the bar and told Chris that I was bored. He cured it with a couple of shots of Jaeger, and I'm sure you can fill-in-the-blanks on how the rest of the night progressed. Around 1 AM I finally rallied everyone to move on to XYZ for Hipster Hottie Jenna's Birthday Party (If one more guy tells me that he thinks she's hot, I am gonna punch him in the nose. And yes. I'm jealous!) I proceeded to ogle guys all night that were at least 5 years too young for me. But hey, if Bayne can do it... (with girls fo course.) I ended up dancing until the early AM. I could tell that Patrik and Eric were gonna fall asleep in their chairs, so finally I left and took them home.

So here's something really random. This afternoon I went and bought new bedroom furniture and brought my mom along to haggle with the sales guy. I ended up spending twice as much as I had anticipated so, farewell Coachella trip. Oh well, there's always Voodoo Fest. Or Memphis In May. I was actually asked by The CA last year to blag Music Fest, but I was working on the Fifty Years of Rock n Roll Special. Maybe they'll ask me again this year (this means YOU Sparks!) Some people whore themselves for Prada, however my DOC is the press pass.

Anyway, when we were done I dropped her off at her new cult church, Bellevue Baptist, and as I was pulling up I noticed that there were some major hot guys walking in for the Sunday night service. Maybe I need to get right with God so I can get me some of that action.

So, Bayne and I are leaving for NYC this week, so there won't be any updates for a bit. Have fun without me.

RIP: Hunter S. Thompson

MAXIN' W/ THE FEEL-HARMONIC

You should go to this. I know it's downtown and I won't be there, but it's gonna be a hot party. We scoped out the venue for the afterparty Thursday night. Hope you're offon Sunday. You can tell me all about it when I get back. Will someone please remember to bring a camera this time?

Drum & Bass Must Die!

As planned, I went and saw The Glass last night at The Deli. They are about to embark on a small tour and I think this was their kick-off show. Their new album is slated for a local release May 7th. Dixie Dirt, a lesbian fronted space-indie-cowboy-rock ensemble, opened. I had a lot of fun, although I was a little bit out of my element. I decided to take the night off from drinkin' and smokin'. I like to mix things up dontchaknow? Anyway, at one point I looked around and realized that I was hanging out with three girls with no guy friends in sight. My reputation of being a girl-hater was in serious jeopardy. It was kind of refreshing though to debate the hotness of the singer. The jury is still out.

Earlier in the evening, Miles sent me a text about having a house party, so that was the second destination of the night. He would have a kegger the one night I'm doing the sober thing. Anyway, we caravaned to his house and late night adventures ensued. The party was kind of split into three smaller parties. There was the backporch smokers, the dancefloor kids and then a whole other scene in the bedroom that I did not investigate thoroughly. It was a pretty fun party until the tweakers took control of the turntables. Then it was time to leave. Newsflash: Jim fell asleep on the couch.

But Whips And Chains Excite Me

I have been hated on all over the interweb this week, I guess I needed something to even me out after Chris said such nice things. Oh well, sticks and stones, right?

So, anyway, Wednesday night we saw The Lost Sounds. She already wrote everything I would have. Last night, contrary to internet gossip, the family sat in the corner booth at Dish and listened to the sweet soul stylings of Jason, Carlos and Mark. And he already wrote about the main event there.

Tomorrow night is my little brother's birthday extravaganza. Tonight, we'll be hitting The Deli to see The Glass. See ya there. Laters.

Red Cross Ads For Hill Holiday

Last fall I worked on an ad campaign for The Red Cross with photographer Brad Harris. The ads have finally been approved and will start running on billboards and in magazines starting in the spring. I casted most of the models. Over the next few days I will be posting some of the shots.

And Now You Only Owe Me 15 Dollars

Last night was the big preview party for Dish. You can check out some shots of the new interior in the next post. They've upscaled quite a bit, adding a swank leather booth where the old DJ area was and a bed right in the middle of the main bar area (it must be reserved and requires bottle service). There's a lot more room to move around and the old waiter's nook is the new DJ booth (not really enough room for any tag teams though). Miles and I agreed that it now has the feel of an art gallery. I'm sure it will derty up a bit come Sunday night. Maybe the new look and feel will keep the trash out, good thing I know the door guy. Anyway, all in all, great job by the old Melange team. They are open for business to the public Thursday night, with a grand opening party planned for next week. Some of your fave DJ's from Melange past are gonna be starting regular gigs, including Brad Johnson, Saturna and Witness.

After we drank too many expensive cocktails, Bayne, Helen, Miles and I ventured across the street to the Deli to catch the freak show going on and save our wallets. Automusik, whom we all know and love for hating us, opened for Peelander Z, the Japanese Action Comic Punk Band, currently rocking the states on their "Let's Bowl" tour. And, btw, they don't mean like "let's get together after the show and go bowling!" They mean, "let's pull the entire crowd up on the stage to play our instruments while we set up pins and run thru the crowd and crash our heads into them." It was entertaining to be sure. Check them out on Myspace. I'm like totally sure they would be your BFF.

Big ups to Chris for supplying the crappy camera pics. Patrik, who was supposed to be my photog for the night bailed early.

Anyway, we ended the evening on the patio at The Glass Onion debating my nickname. I don't know, I just don't like Momma Bitch. Sorry. Try again.

Dish: First Look

Viva L'American Nick Ray

The Valentine's Day show at the Hi-Tone last night was killer. If I have lamented over and over again about what a great songwriter Harlan T. Bobo is, let me turn my attention now to his partner in Viva L'American Deathray, and say that Nick is a ROCKSTAR. He knows how to entertain the crowd and get everyone up off their ass and dancing! Funny story: I actually knew Nick before I knew he was in Deathray, we took Punk Rock Pilates together last summer. When I found out he was in a band, I was like, well, of course he is, look at him!

We sat at the bar after the show and debated why there is so much good music in Memphis right now, but yet there is not a line out the door for people wanting to see it. He thinks it's because people go to shows more to socialize than to really hear good music, and that's why their shows are so much more popular in bigger cities and Europe. But I think that it's just not promoted here correctly.

Anyway, they aren't sure when they will play Memphis again, their drummer actually lives in Texas now. But he's up here visiting while they record some singles, so they're gonna try to put together another show sooner than later. What they really need is a manager. When you hear opportunity knocking...

Happy Effing Valentine's Day

So this is the part where I'm supposed to say how Valentine's Day sux and it's a Hallmark holiday and blah, blah, blah. But personally, even though I don't have a Valentine, I think it's great to have a day to celebrate love. Sometimes people (i.e., men) need to be reminded to appreciate the things that they have. There's only like 4 or 5 days out of the entire year where you're expected to put a little effort into showing someone that you care about them. And guess what, you don't even have to buy them anything if you're creative and they don't suck.

Anyway, here's the plan for the week. Plans change, call ahead:

Monday: Viva L'American Deathray @ The Hi-Tone
Tuesday: Automusik and Peelander Z @ The Deli
Wednesday: EJ @ P&H 9 PM / Lost Sounds Going Away Party @ The Buc
Thursday: Thursday Night Fever @ The Buc
Friday: The Glass @ The Deli

More to come.

Quote of the Day

"I'm not anorexic, I'm from Texas." `Jessica Simpson

Jack White Will You Marry Me?

After a memorable night out Friday, including catching a great show by Papa Top at The Buc (if I recall correctly, Eric and I were interviewed by someone from the CA about why The Buc was a cool place to go, should be in Thursday's edition), Brad Stanfill's birthday party (he was part of my brother's crew when they were in high school. I've apologized for being a snobby older sis!) and then a round of burgers at Alex's, I totally flodged on going anywhere Saturday night, I just wasn't feeling very well. At first I thought it was just cause I overdid it the night before, but after spending this afternoon with a tub of ice cream and a box of tissue watching Lifetime, it seems I have a friend on the way and she was just calling me ahead to announce her arrival. I know, I know! TMI!

Anyway, looks like the grand opening for Dish is gonna be Thursday night according to Alt-Jen. There's a private function happening before then so I'll try to grab some shots and post them.

I was gonna write about the Grammy's tonight, but the only memorable thing that happened was when Jack White and Loretta Lynn accepted the Best Country Album Award. I think I fell in love with Jack tonight, he was so cute with Loretta. He looked horrid, but he was sooooo sweet. Hate to hurt anybody's feelings but the video for Portland, Oregon was actually filmed in Memphis at Earnestine and Hazel's. I believe I broke the story back in July. Legend is: He and Meg used to sleep on Jack Oblivian's (AKA Jack Yarber who's currently with The Tennessee Tearjerkers) couch before they hit it big and actually bought his famous red guitar that he used to always play from Jack O. That's why on occasion you'll see him making out with a random chick at The Deli.

UPDATE: You can watch it by clicking here.

In the words of Austen Onek "Rock and Roll Baby!"

P.S. Matthew Perpetua Reavealed!

Too Much Love

The WEVL benefit rocked the Deli last night. Even though the house ended up being packed, a lot of people missed Jack O and the Tearjerkers' set because they didn't arrive until hipster hour. Too bad for them. Of course, the highlight of the evening was the performance by Harlan T. Bobo. There's like 5 or 6 of us Harlanites that are at every show he does, so I'm not the only stalker. The crowd loved his performance and begged for more at the end. I think he played two new songs, but they might just have been ones I hadn't heard before. I purchased his coloring book and asked Judy to have him sign it for me because I was too embaressed to ask myself. Sure, I'll stalk you, but I won't talk to you.

The flash on my camera is fried from the toilet incident. Now I can only take art photos, which I would have taken many more of if someone hadn't taken 80 photos of Kim Richardson the other night and used up the majority of my memory card. Doh! Chris Reyes from LivefromMemphis was there taking tons of photos and filming, as he is at a lot of shows in town, but I never see the shots up on their website. What gives Chris?

Anyway, Mouserocket closed the show and rocked everybody's socks off. Robbie plays guitar like the dude from Devo. Good stuff.

The Deli crew ended up meeting the Glass Onion crew and being introduced to the shot crew. The bar closed and I went home. This is the story of my life.

P.S. DISH is on the way...

They Forgot Mid-town Hipster Barbie

Mattel recently announced the release of 11 limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Greater Memphis market:

Germantown Barbie

This princess Barbie is sold only at Wolfchase Mall. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with an augmented version.

Bartlett Barbie

The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

Orange Mound Barbie

This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) ...unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

Houston Levee Barbie

This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

Horn Lake Barbie

This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

River Bluff Barbie

This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription available.

Frayser Barbie

This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Raleigh Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.

Midtown Barbie

This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Overton Square Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.

Whitehaven Barbie

This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

Southaven Barbie

She's perfect in every way. We don't know where Ken is because he's always hunting.

Overton Park Barbie/Ken

This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.....

I Thought I Told You, Don't Eff With Me

So, no updates for a couple of days because I have been spending all of my free time in a blargument over on Scenestars. Anyway, I got a nice little hi-five from David at Largehearted Boy today. I sent him a copy of the last Harlan T. Bobo record and he really loved it. Maybe it will help Harlan sell some records so he can make bigger wings. He also really dug the Tunnel Clones (who have a pretty cool gig coming up with TMFHDJSO. More on that laters).

Oh, and UPDATE on friday night: Super Hottie in Black Elizabeth Harris and Pickle's fake band MUNG are playing the Muck Sticky CD release party. Muck (or does he like to be called Sticky?) passed on to me one of his CD's last year at Memphis in May and when I put it in my CD player, I was thoroughly confused. I would link Chris Davis' review of the record, but The GD Flyer site is still not updated from last week! (Why are you guys always so late in updating? Cause you want everyone on Wednesday to go out and get a hardcopy?) Anyway, I bet if you get really high and go down to the Daisy Friday night, it will be a night you never forget. Here's the details from Elizabeth:

Muck Sticky
The Fairwell
The Internationals
MUNG

hope you're doing well...holla at a bitch, and we'll hit the town...word...

W3rd!

So, see ya at The Deli tonight for the WEVL benefit (cause you're so going, right?)

Oh, and according to Alt-Jen - Dish is a no-go for the weekend. Anything else going on Sunday night?

Delivery By Request

p.s. While deleting spam tonight, I accidentally deleted some peep's comments. All Apologies. In better news I added mt-close which closes all comments after 10 days. Better hurry to get your snark on beaches.

HeeHaw For Hipsters

anybody seen my chaps?

Tennessee Tearjerkers Release New Album

New album due February 15th.

Check them out at The WEVL BENEFIT show at The Deli Thursday night!

Photo Courtesy of Elizabeth Harris.

My Agenda for the week?

Wednesday: Blair Combest @ P&H 9PM
Thursday: WEVL Benefit @ The Deli 10PM, duh
Friday: Papa Top's West Coast Turnaround @ The Buc 10PM
Saturday: The Limes @ The Buc 10PM, The Hook-Up and Buck Wilders play funky soul @ XYZ 1AM
Sunday: Dish Sunday Nights Begin???? @ Dish (Formerly Melange) 10PM
Monday: Happy Valentine's Day w/ Vive L'American Death Ray @ The Hi-Tone 10PM

Carry On.

I See You Baby, Shaking That Ass...

I started off last night meeting up with my fellow Memphis Bloggers to socialize and trade rocklocks (that's the secret handshake don't ya know?) Just as I had ordered some food I got a 911 text from Eric asking me to call him. He was supposed to be meeting me but on his way he was in a car accident, so I went and picked him up. Although he was a little shaken, we were still determined to have a great night. So, we returned to the bash and kicked it with the peeps. Conversations ranged from music (the origin and whereabouts of NTJ was debated) to television (did you know there's like 18 Star Trek spin-offs?) to who knew the best jokes (it wasn't Eric). You can read Mike's review here and see Abby's pics here.

Now on to the main festivities of the evening: Sharon Jones and The Dap Kings. We went to pick up Jason but since Lorin was feeling ill he opted to stay home until she went to bed. So, we made our way to The Hi-Tone arriving just after 10 to a ridiculously small crowd. The Hook-Up and Buck Wilders were spinning and informed us that the show probably wouldn't start until mid-night. So, we hung out and socialized until the place started getting packed around 11:30. The place was jammed with local music know-it-alls, even though Chris Herrington gave SJ an old man diss when he wrote, "Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings is the kind of band easily overrated, their intentionally vintage sound and record-collector album art suggesting the kind of soul band aiming for indie-rock record stores and college radio" in his review of Naturally in this week's Memphis Flyer. Funnily enough, he ended up giving the album a good review and called, "How Long Do I Have To Wait For You? the best song I've heard all year."

I guess he just wanted everyone to know that he had been there and done that. But I wasn't around for "the rhythm sections of Stax, Motown, or Muscle Shoals" so, excuse me while I enjoy the show.

Eric, Bayne, Mark and I were right up front for most of the first part of the show, shakin' that azzz. The whole crowd was really into it and the band fed off the energy of the audience. Jones was having such a good time that she started pulling people on stage to dance with her. It started out with mostly random girls, but Eric and Bayne also got in on the action when Jones pulled them on stage and had them shake their tailfeathers. (Ainsley (sp?) has some great shots of Bayne, if anyone knows her please ask her to pass them on!). Even though many would assume that I'm an exhibitionist, I'm actually not at all, so as Jones eyed me between Bayne and Eric, I did a duck and roll to avoid being ushered to tha stage.

By the end of the show everyone was sweaty and worn out. Jones did one encore and then sat at a table and signed CD's. We hung around and chatted with the band in the smoking room, and when the rest of the crowd had dispersed, we were treated to an impromptu drum and bass performance, with the drummer on bass and the bass player on drums, natch. The peeps at the Hi-tone finally kicked us out a little after 3.

If you missed it, you can still read EJ's SS Review here.

Photos Courtesy of LisaBoo.

Support Local Radio, Hear Cool Music

It Was The Shots that Did Me In

I know, I know. You saw me last night and I was obnoxious. All Apologies. It happens. Not that often, but when an event involves two kegs, it's more likely then not. We caught the Away/Awake Premiere and then hit the afterparty at Otherlands (where said kegs were). We hung around and mingled and watched Snowglobe, then we did a drive-thru at Emily's birthday bash, made it to The Glass Onion before last call, made a pit-stop at The Two-Way, then stopped by Brent's abode to catch Shaun of the Dead.

I apparently slam dunked J's phone into his beer last night, so Momma Warbux has to take him to get a new one this evening. Lesson learned? When you have one too many, you're gonna pay for it, one way or the other.

Bold Is The New Black

After everyone told me that they were not going to attend The Pirates show last night, I planned to go alone. And I did. However, by the end of the evening I was surrounded by Helen, Brent, Eric, Chris, Mark, Jason, Justin, Jen and Brian. I guess everyone changed their minds. I'm glad they did. We danced and drank and laughed and drank and danced some more, while the term "Best. Cover Band. Ever" was thrown around a lot. I don't know about all that, but any band that covers Pavement, and twice in one night no less, is alright by me. I was even moved to hit on a guy. I think everyone in The Onion knew I was hitting on him, except him. Jen has pictures. Anyone seen Jen? I heard she's been hanging out with Jack White at the Deli.

SIDEBAR: Jason has a theory on what a glass onion is. Anyone know?

I'm staying in tonight to dry out. But this weekend is gonna be great. Friday night is the Away/Awake premiere at The Studio on the Square at 7:20PM from Sawed Off Collabaratory. The lovely Amber, also known as Sean OD's better half, worked as the AD on the film, so I'm looking forward to checking it out. Also, a lot of local Memphis musical talent appear in the movie including Jeremy Hughs, Jason Sims, Barry Iskiwitz, Chad White, Brad Stansfill, the guys form Snowglobe, and Mr. O'Daniels Himself. I already have a ticket, this one may sell out. UPDATE: It is sold out.

UPDATE: I was supposed to tell everyone that there's an afterparty at Otherlands with Snowglobe. My bad. Oh, and David Brookings will be playing with the full band at The Buc, followed by Chess Club. Sounds like a plan.

Saturday night my fellow bloggers and I will be meeting up to talk shit and drink at The Garibaldi's near U of M. Afterwards, I'll be heading to the Hi-Tone to catch Sharon Jones and The Dap Kings, a soul review that everyone has been turned onto by Eric (The Hook-Up). If you come out, make sure you wear your dancing shoes cause the plan is to cut a rug as they say.

Because Women Always Have To Have The Last Word

Come on. Admit it. He may not be that into you, but were you ever really that into him? He was never "the one," but you lowered your standards and dated him in the meantime. Why? For any number of reasons: you were lonely, you were horny, you thought dating him was better than being alone, all your friends are getting married -- you name it. And before you knew it, you got hung up on the jackass. Go figure.

I Should Have Axed Somebody

Ok, ok. I've eaten my fair share of crow tonight for rallying up a crew to go see a show that is actually happening Wednesday night. Doh! January has 31 days? Who new?

Anyway, usually on Tuesday night I sit on my couch and don't answer my phone. It's just not worth the effort. But since we were already out, it seemed like a good idea to at least try to put our best foot forward. However, we tried to paint a Rembrandt but ended up with a paint-by-numbers. The lesson learned was that since every action has an equal and opposite reaction, I should have known after last weekend, it was time to lay low for a minute.

We'll try again Wednesday night when, I hear, The Pirates will actually be playing at The Glass Onion.

Carry on.

P.S. Someone's been paying attention!