“What day/night will be the wildest party on your island?”
That’s Elon Musk. Writing to Jeffrey Epstein. In November 2012. Four years after Epstein pled guilty to procuring an underage girl for prostitution. Just – you know – casually asking a registered sex offender about the party schedule on his island. The island. The one that became internationally synonymous with child sex trafficking. That island.
And when Epstein asked how many people would need a helicopter ride over, Musk wrote back: “Probably just Talulah and me.” Talulah Riley. His wife at the time. He was planning the logistics of getting there. That’s not “I refused his invitations,” which is what Musk has been saying for years. That’s RSVPing with a plus-one.
Sixteen emails. That’s how many the DOJ found between Musk and Epstein, spanning 2012 to 2013. In December 2013, Musk told Epstein he’d be in the area over the holidays and asked about a good time to visit. Epstein said there was “always space for you.” Then in December 2014, Epstein’s assistant had a scheduling note that read – and I need you to really savor this – “Reminder: Elon Musk to island Dec. 6 (is this still happening?)”
Even Epstein’s assistant was following up on the RSVP.
So when the files dropped in January and Musk immediately posted that “nobody has fought harder for full release of the Epstein files” than him, I just – I don’t know what to do with that level of audacity. You fought to release your own emails asking about the wildest party? That’s like demanding the security footage at your own trial. Bold strategy.
But Elon Musk and brazen denial go together like NDAs and hush money. Which brings us to the horse thing.
In 2016, a SpaceX flight attendant says Musk exposed his erect penis to her during a private jet massage and offered to buy her a horse if she’d “do more.” A horse. For sexual favors. On a corporate jet. This isn’t a scandal. This is a pitch meeting for a limited series nobody greenlit because the writers’ room would’ve said “too on the nose.”
The woman says she was encouraged by SpaceX to get a masseuse license so she could give Musk massages on flights. She got the license. Then during a session, he allegedly dropped the sheet, showed her his business, touched her thigh, and made the horse offer. When she said no, her shifts started getting cut. When she hired a lawyer, SpaceX cut a check. Two hundred and fifty thousand dollars. NDA. Non-disparagement clause. She can’t mention Musk, SpaceX, or Tesla ever again.
Musk personally attended the mediation session. Sat in the room. Signed the deal.
And then when Business Insider broke the story in May 2022, Musk went on Twitter and said the story was “written before they even talked to me.” Which is technically true in the sense that Business Insider reached out for comment at 9am and he chose not to respond. They extended the deadline. He still didn’t respond. Then he complained about not being contacted. It’s giving “I didn’t open your text and now I’m mad you didn’t call.”
The timing of his response is the chef’s kiss, though. Literally the day before the story dropped, Musk tweeted that he was switching from Democrat to Republican and predicted a “dirty tricks campaign” against him. The investigations editor at Business Insider confirmed they’d contacted Musk hours before his party-switch tweet. So he knew the story was coming, pre-positioned his defense as “this is political persecution,” and then acted surprised. Reality TV contestants have been eliminated for less sophisticated gameplay.
But here’s what I keep coming back to. This man settled a sexual misconduct claim with a quarter million dollars and an NDA – and then went on to preside over a company where at least seven women have filed sexual harassment lawsuits.
Seven.
AJ Vandermeyden went public in 2017 calling parts of Tesla’s Fremont factory a “predator zone.” Catcalling. Groping. Men standing on elevated platforms to leer at women walking by. The factory floor, as one lawsuit put it, “more resembles a crude, archaic construction site or frat house than a cutting-edge company.” Vandermeyden filed a lawsuit. Tesla forced it into private arbitration – behind closed doors – then fired her. Their official reason? She was terminated for “falsely attacking our company in the media.”
So. Report harassment, get fired for reporting harassment. File that under corporate feminism.
One woman says she had to stack boxes around her workstation to physically block coworkers from catcalling and whistling at her. When she reported it to HR, Tesla moved her to a different area. Not the harassers. Her. Tyonna Turner documented about a hundred separate incidents of harassment over two years. A hundred. When she complained, a supervisor told her “that’s just how people are.” Then she got fired too. Tesla settled her lawsuit in 2024. Terms? Sealed, naturally.
And when shareholders proposed a resolution requiring Tesla to report on its efforts to prevent sexual harassment, the board opposed it. “The Board continues to oppose initiatives that seek to direct Tesla’s strategic business decisions,” they said. The motion failed. Elon owns 14% of Tesla. His vote alone could have carried it.
This is the part where the money trail gets really fun.
Tesla exists because the Obama administration handed Elon Musk a $465 million federal loan in 2009. He was basically broke at the time – living on loans from friends, his PayPal money torched on rocket launches and electric car prototypes. The DOE loan let Tesla build the Model S and survive. He paid it back early, in 2013. Fine. Good. Gold star.
But that’s just the appetizer. The LA Times tallied it all up in 2015 and found that Musk’s companies – Tesla, SolarCity, and SpaceX together – had benefited from $4.9 billion in government support. Federal loans, state tax breaks, environmental credits, consumer rebates, factory construction subsidies. Nevada alone gave Tesla $1.3 billion in incentives for the Gigafactory. New York spent $750 million building a SolarCity plant. A full government charcuterie board of public money flowing to the world’s future richest man.
Then in 2021, Democrats proposed a billionaire minimum tax. Twenty-five percent on people worth over $100 million. Musk’s potential hit? Roughly $50 billion. ProPublica had just reported that Musk paid literally zero federal income tax in 2018. Zero. The guy who took $465 million from the Department of Energy paid nothing back to the IRS.
The House passed an 8% surtax on massive incomes. The Senate went after the “buy-borrow-die” loophole – the neat trick where billionaires borrow against their assets, live lavishly, and never pay capital gains because they never technically “sell” anything. Musk loves this loophole. It’s practically a personality trait.
By early 2022, according to the Institute for Policy Studies, Musk “had come to see the Democratic Party as a direct threat to his continued favorable tax treatment.” So he started writing checks. Fifty million to Citizens for Sanity, a Republican group tied to Stephen Miller. Tens of millions more to Building America’s Future. Ten million to Ron DeSantis. Then over $118 million through his America PAC for Trump. In 2020 he’d voted for Biden and privately called Trump “a stone-cold loser.” By 2024 he was Trump’s top benefactor.
That’s not a political awakening. That’s a cost-benefit analysis.
Take the subsidies, flip the party when they ask for taxes, settle the lawsuits you don’t want public, NDA the women, and then post on X about how you’re being persecuted by the establishment. Musk has turned victimhood into a brand strategy so effective it makes Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop look understated.
The funniest part? He keeps saying “no one pushed harder to release the Epstein files than me.” And then his own emails come out and he’s asking about the wildest party on a convicted sex offender’s island. His own wife’s name is in the helicopter logistics. His own assistant’s scheduling notes say “ELON MUSK TO ISLAND.”
That’s not a smear campaign. That’s a self-own with a paper trail.
And the $250,000 he paid to silence a woman he allegedly flashed on a jet? That’s not even a rounding error on his net worth. That’s what he makes while brushing his teeth. The question isn’t whether he can afford to make problems disappear. It’s how many times he’s done it that we don’t know about, because the NDAs are still holding.
Quarter million for silence. Zero in taxes. Sixteen emails to Epstein. Seven harassment lawsuits at Tesla. $4.9 billion in government money.
And he wants you to believe he’s the victim.