Since its become pretty obvious that Trumps trade war with Canada really has nothing to do with Fentanyl and is much more likely to be a poorly planned strategy to weaken their economy in the hopes to annex them, lets talk about why making them our 51st state is a batshit crazy idea that will never happen.
According to Trump – the US is a shithole that only he can fix – but, of course, before he fixes even one thing here – he wants to absorb an entire country and its 40 million people. Its an idea so absurd – that people think he might just be a genius!
Le sigh Where do I even start?
Well, first of all, let me assure you, Canadians dont want to be Americans. Their life expectancy is higher – their crime rates are lower – and their students don't graduate with mortgage-sized debt.
Surveys conducted in the months leading up to the 2024 election consistently showed that approximately 60% to 64% of Canadians favored Harris, while about 21% supported Trump. Thats not even close, folks.
And it makes perfect sense – since contrary to what a lot of dummies in the states think – Canada isnt USA lite. Our governments and what each of our citizens prioritize are completely different.
Canadas government is a complex parliamentary democracy with a monarch ( their king is King Charles – just like Great Britain) – and their entire system is built around the idea that their leader needs Parliament's permission to do basically anything. Their government is like a fancy watch – intricate – precise – and completely different from our system. Theyve demonstrated that progressive policies can create tangible benefits for its citizens – all while maintaining a strong economy and high standard of living.
Theyve built a system where people don't need to launch GoFundMe campaigns to stay alive. Their healthcare system is so comprehensive that "medical bankruptcy" isn't even in their vocabulary. Meanwhile – in the US – people are rationing insulin and driving Ubers with broken arms to pay for x-rays. The idea that Canadians would willingly adopt our healthcare system is ridiculous.
But it's not just healthcare. Canadian workers get actual paid vacation time – not just whatever scraps fall off their boss's table. Their universities don't require a 30-year mortgage disguised as student loans. Their unemployment benefits don't require an advanced degree in bureaucracy to access. During COVID, they paid their citizens that were ineligible for unemployment benefits $500 a week for over a year.
And they manage all this while still having a thriving economy. As It turns out, you can actually take care of people without turning into a communist dystopia.
Sure – they pay higher taxes – but they get something back besides military bases and congressional gridlock. It's almost like they've figured out that a society works better when people aren't one medical emergency away from living in their car. Not to mention that their kids can go to school without active shooter drills.
Imagine trying to explain to 40 million Canadians that they need to give up their healthcare system because some guy who thinks windmills cause cancer said so. The delulu is real, henny.
The real joke here isn't just that Trump wants to annex Canada – it's that he thinks they'd want our broken system. The only reason why anyone would think Canada would be better off is because Americans are some of the most propagandized people on the planet.
Okay – so I think Ive established why Canadians dont want to be Americans and would most likely only be able to be taken by force. But let's humor this delusion for a moment.
Absorbing Canada would take much longer than the time Trump has left on this planet.
The military costs alone would be $1-2 trillion. Never mind that they're backed by NATO – or that their military is actually trained for winter warfare. On top of that – Canada is a member of the Commonwealth of Nations, a voluntary association of 56 countries, most of which are former territories of the British Empire. So, were not just picking a fight with Canada – who knows how many nations this would end up involving.
Also, most Americans will probably be surprised that not all Canadians speak English. 11% only speak French – specifically the people who live in Quebec – who barely want to be part of Canada – but Trump thinks they're going to embrace American culture?
We'd need to completely dismantle their parliamentary system and replace it with our federal model – scrap their universal healthcare for our private insurance system – restructure their entire education system – convert their currency to U.S. dollars – update all their infrastructure to U.S. standards – figure out what to do about Quebec's French language rights – absorb their military into ours – and renegotiate every international agreement they've ever made.
The price tag for this transformational mess? Around $8-10 trillion over several decades – just to make a functional country significantly worse off than it already is.
And let's not forget that we would be absorbing their national debt. So much for cutting our own deficit.
The whole thing would cost more than we spent on World War II – adjusted for inflation – just to make our northern neighbors dramatically worse off. It's the kind of math that only makes sense if you think bankruptcy is a business strategy.
Not to mention – all of the pissed off liberal voters wed add to the electorate. Either Trump REALLY hasnt thought this part through, or he really doesnt expect there to be any new elections.
Annexing Canada is not a strategy a serious person would consider. And anyone supporting it is just showing you how dumb they are.
Just pause for a moment and think about the cost of taking over a country with 40 million people – which would include the costs of rewriting and reprinting all Canadian school textbooks to align with U.S. curricula, retraining Canadian teachers to adapt to American educational standards, converting Canadian drivers licenses to U.S. formats and standards, reissuing identification documents like passports and social security numbers for millions of Canadians, redesigning and replacing all Canadian currency with U.S. dollars, recalibrating Canadian financial systems to integrate with U.S. banking regulations, legal fees for harmonizing Canadian provincial laws with U.S. federal and state laws, costs of amending or dissolving the Canadian Constitution, expenses for rebranding government institutions (e.g., Parliament to a state legislature), retrofitting Canadian road signs from metric to imperial measurements, updating maps and geographic databases across both countries, reconfiguring healthcare systems to align with U.S. insurance-based models, retraining healthcare workers on U.S. billing and regulatory practices, economic losses from dismantling Canadas universal healthcare infrastructure, costs of integrating Canadian military forces into the U.S. Department of Defense, reissuing military uniforms and equipment with U.S. insignia, transitioning Canadian law enforcement to U.S. legal codes and training, replacing bilingual English-French signage with English-only versions, cultural backlash and potential unrest from loss of Canadian identity, expenses for relocating or compensating displaced government workers (e.g., federal employees of dissolved Canadian agencies), updating tax systems to comply with IRS regulations, reissuing property titles and deeds under U.S. legal frameworks, costs of renegotiating international trade agreements previously held by Canada, reconfiguring border security infrastructure along the former U.S.-Canada border, economic disruption from shifting Canadas trade dependencies toward U.S. markets, retraining Canadian businesses on U.S. labor and environmental regulations, costs of aligning Canadian telecommunications systems with FCC standards, updating voting systems and voter registration for U.S. elections, expenses for integrating Canadian provinces into U.S. congressional districts, legal disputes over indigenous land treaties under U.S. jurisdiction, costs of converting Canadian metric-based industries (e.g., manufacturing) to imperial units, reissuing professional licenses (e.g., doctors, lawyers) under U.S. accreditation bodies, updating public transportation signage and schedules to U.S. norms, economic losses from phasing out Canadian cultural subsidies (e.g., film, arts), costs of decommissioning Canadian national symbols (e.g., flags, anthems), public relations campaigns to manage citizen resistance or confusion, environmental regulation alignment costs (e.g., adapting to EPA standards), reworking Canadian pension systems to match U.S. Social Security, expenses for translating and reissuing historical records into U.S. formats, costs of integrating Canadian postal services into the USPS, updating utility systems (e.g., electricity labeling) to U.S. standards, economic impacts of shifting Canadas monarchy-based heritage to a republican system, legal battles over Quebecs potential secession or special status, retraining Canadian pilots and airlines on FAA regulations, costs of adapting Canadian food labeling to FDA standards, reissuing vehicle registration and emissions standards to U.S. specifications, expenses for public education campaigns on the transition, potential loss of tourism revenue tied to Canadas distinct national identity.
The idea of annexing Canada isn't just financially absurd – it's a fundamental misunderstanding of both countries. Spending trillions to dismantle systems that actually work better than ours shows a level of hubris that's both dangerous and deeply misinformed.
Trump is not a genius, hes a man with a low IQ who speaks on a 4th grade level, and is supported by people with the same affliction.
Sources: